Ugh. Every time I feel like I make leaps and bounds forward, it happens. My memory surges back to an instance when I messed up hard. It’s the worst feeling.
You botch the presentation. You miss the detail. Literally I can think of times when things went horribly wrong, and the only person I have to blame is me. Yuck.
So, what do we do when we find ourselves back in that situation? We’re working on a project and the wave of reality comes over us in how we have or are currently screwing up. Usually, my thoughts go something like this: “Must. Hide. Immediately.” I want to crawl into my own skin as if I can somehow swallow myself whole and no one will realize I’m gone before the mistake is found out. Because we all know that works well.
Ultimately, I move past that crazy thinking and move into a harder, yet more healthy space: Own. Ask. Do.
We have to own our stuff. I’ve always heard people say that once you own it, things can get better. But, of course, that is the HARDEST part. We have to know ourselves well enough to stop the talk track in our minds from making things worse. Doing nothing, and trying to hide, is only going to make it worse.
It is possible to salvage the error. Once we’ve mustered the courage to tell ourselves that we made a real mistake. We have to dig down deep and ask for help. I know I said owning it is the hardest but asking for help is about par for the course. Feeling like we’ve already given everything we have to convince ourselves there’s a problem, we now have to go admit it to other people and say you need their help cleaning it up? Bleh. This might be harder.
But it so incredibly necessary. When I think of the thousands, if not millions, of times I’ve seriously screwed up, the only times I was able to save it or even help make something positive out of it, is when I asked for help (or a good friend sees what’s happening and gently steps in saying, “you should rethink this”). The time I said something insensitive. The time I got the numbers wrong. The time…this could go on for a while. I find I always learn the most when I asked for help. Why?
I think it’s because we get a window into what things should be like. Sometimes we ask for help and we’re met with grace, understanding, and a team spirit. Other times, it’s backlash, distance, or “I told you so”. We have the chance to learn what to do or what not to do when we enter the situation for ourselves or others invite us into their problems in the future. For me, this creates a deep memory for what I should do next time.
Do. Offer the sincere apology. Stay late and fix the calculation. Taking action can be the difference between regret or making it right.
Own. Ask. Do. While we may not be able to prevent all the future botch-ing, we can remember how to get back up.
Amanda Woods 